Vomiting 'I Love You's'
Word vomit. It's how we talk many times after drinking- with no filter. Words spew straight from our brains to our mouths and into the ears of those around us. With no thought of the consequence those words might have, we say things we might regret the next morning. As we reach for the bottle of Advil we conveniently keep on the nightstand, we remember the countless friends we turned into foes the previous night.
Vodka, help me here. After 3 martinis’ I can’t say anything to the man who has seen me totally naked, and still likes me flaws and all but I can tell the bartender serving me stiff ones that I love him. Granted, the love I declare to a bartender is not the same love I am trying to say to my guy. Plus, I know drinking and then saying things like ‘I love you’ for the first time is not the smartest plan. I can see it already…he is holding my hair back and as I vomit (real vomit, not word vomit) I say “I love you”. How fucking romantic.
People say, “you should say it in an intimate moment.” Um, excuse me but what the fuck is an intimate moment?! Of course, when I’m orgasming I am in love! I mean, really. If I am going down on a guy that is the last time I want him telling me he loves me for the first time. Maybe ‘I love when you do that with your tongue’, but please for the sake of a currently healthy relationship, save the ‘I love you’s’ for a better moment.
Okay, so the definition of intimacy is not just sex and I know that. But I still don’t want this moment to be all romantical and shit. I just want it to happen, and be over with so that I can get these damn butterflies out of my stomach. I think a fart would be a good lead in to saying ‘I love you’. You know, an icebreaker and some laughing to lighten the mood. Okay, so I am not being entirely serious, but that’s how our relationship is. It’s not necessarily sunshine and rainbows and smiley face posters. It’s not a Lisa Frank ad. It’s nonsense and picking on each other. It’s sarcasm and laughter. It’s REAL. And it’s the most real thing I have ever been in. Ever.
So, I am sure you wonder why I am having all this back and forth inside my head. Three words. I AM HUMAN. Of course I have a fear of rejection. I am just going to have to force myself to suck it up and actually blurt out those three little, yet huge words, and hope that something and not nothing comes out of my mouth.
I Google every thing, incuding love and as I discussed my search engine results with a friend, she told me, "Google can not tell you when to say I love you. Only you can tell yourself."
I was baffled, "but Google knows everything!"
Well, screw you Google! I’m getting this one on my own!
Vodka, help me here. After 3 martinis’ I can’t say anything to the man who has seen me totally naked, and still likes me flaws and all but I can tell the bartender serving me stiff ones that I love him. Granted, the love I declare to a bartender is not the same love I am trying to say to my guy. Plus, I know drinking and then saying things like ‘I love you’ for the first time is not the smartest plan. I can see it already…he is holding my hair back and as I vomit (real vomit, not word vomit) I say “I love you”. How fucking romantic.
People say, “you should say it in an intimate moment.” Um, excuse me but what the fuck is an intimate moment?! Of course, when I’m orgasming I am in love! I mean, really. If I am going down on a guy that is the last time I want him telling me he loves me for the first time. Maybe ‘I love when you do that with your tongue’, but please for the sake of a currently healthy relationship, save the ‘I love you’s’ for a better moment.
Okay, so the definition of intimacy is not just sex and I know that. But I still don’t want this moment to be all romantical and shit. I just want it to happen, and be over with so that I can get these damn butterflies out of my stomach. I think a fart would be a good lead in to saying ‘I love you’. You know, an icebreaker and some laughing to lighten the mood. Okay, so I am not being entirely serious, but that’s how our relationship is. It’s not necessarily sunshine and rainbows and smiley face posters. It’s not a Lisa Frank ad. It’s nonsense and picking on each other. It’s sarcasm and laughter. It’s REAL. And it’s the most real thing I have ever been in. Ever.
So, I am sure you wonder why I am having all this back and forth inside my head. Three words. I AM HUMAN. Of course I have a fear of rejection. I am just going to have to force myself to suck it up and actually blurt out those three little, yet huge words, and hope that something and not nothing comes out of my mouth.
I Google every thing, incuding love and as I discussed my search engine results with a friend, she told me, "Google can not tell you when to say I love you. Only you can tell yourself."
I was baffled, "but Google knows everything!"
Well, screw you Google! I’m getting this one on my own!
Posted by Lextra Dirty at 10/22/2009 12:05 PM 
Categories: relationships
Tags: intimacy advil sunshine saying i love you for the first time vomit fart martinis google love lisa frank relationships
Categories: relationships
Tags: intimacy advil sunshine saying i love you for the first time vomit fart martinis google love lisa frank relationships
I read the first line of this post and thought of a situation that happened to me. I just put it up on my blog. But Accidentally saying I Love You just makes for awkward moments. I want the response to me "I love you too" no "Are you serious??" LoL
Good read, you're funny =]
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Thanks Frenchie! I am glad you enjoyed it...and keep your fingers crossed that I can actually say it tonight!
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was I the google comment...I seem to remember that
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